Quick now…what do you do in the first 2 rounds of your FF draft if you have the 4th pick in a 14-team, PPR which includes a Flex player but no TE? What’s the matter? Can’t follow the lingo? Well, if you can (and if you’re still reading this, you should, because if not – stop now), then pay attention closely.

No, I’m not about to give you my inside strategies on drafting, because after all, you could be in my league! Instead, I would like to share some of my experiences in this year’s fantasy football drafts (5 live ones in all).

First, if you think I’m nuts for participating in so many of these male-bonding extravaganzas, think again…I know some that are doing 8 or more drafts, and that’s after 50 or so mocks on the various online sites! Some of these guys will be preparing for life after marriage soon, but if they would have just read my last blog, this could have been avoided. Still, for those of you who are
new to the drafting experience, let me give you a taste of my world, 2010 style.

The fantasy football draft is a unique phenomenon in U.S. culture. Let’s start with the premise that football is widely more popular than baseball, and so I won’t even consider the argument that baseball drafts are equally as compelling or entertaining. The fact that FFL owners prepare to compete in a 16-week fantasy season (including playoffs) as opposed to a 162-game marathon, is likely to blame. In any event, we football geeks look forward to and celebrate the art of FF drafting as if little else in our lives really matter.

The initial consideration is selecting a suitable venue for the draft. In leagues where the participants are mainly from the greater Aventura area, there are only a few good hot spots that carry WiFi (unless you have that cool IPad) for laptop use. This year, I have drafted at: Upper Deck in Hallandale Beach (excellent food and great spot for watching games), Dave & Busters in Hollywood (decent food and great draft rooms), and at Miami Prime in North Miami Beach (great atmosphere and you must try the Buffalo Bites and chocolate cake). My only two other live drafts are at the homes of the respective league commissioners, who I’m sure are eagerly waiting to read the negative comments will be spewed their way in this article…You can rest Steve and Andy; this is a family blog.

Draft Day is the most wonderful day of the year. It can also be the most competitive atmosphere imaginable. If you’re a novice and enter the draft room with a deer-in-headlights look, you will most assuredly be eaten up by the veteran sharks. In fact, to the shark, preying on novice guppies is an art form. In the first draft of the season at D&B, a poor little guppy was armed with only
a stale magazine and the first pick. After numerous attempts by the shark pool to sway him into picking Vincent Jackson, who is suspended for the first portion of the season and is holding out, the Commish stepped in and up, and told him “Pick a running back”. Now the futile look on the guppy’s face was priceless. I sincerely think he responded with “are you sure – Chris Johnson?”
He almost seemed flabbergasted at the thought that the man on the cover of the publication he held in his hand was not a worthy selection with the top spot. There is much more I can say about the trials and tribulations of this guppy during the 3-hour draft, but you get the picture.

Drafts are filled with obnoxious comments and those who ridicule the gaffes of others. Take for example someone (who will go nameless), who insists on providing a narrative remark immediately following each draft pick (no, it’s not me…not every pick at least). Here’s a sample: “Arian Foster, what a great pick in the 4th round. He’s gonna make Schaub, AJ and Daniels so much better!” After the next selection: “Jahvid Best! Whoa, now that’s a steal. Can I have half your winnings? How could I have passed him up?” Now, this commentary went on for like 70 consecutive picks. I’m not sure who finally shut him up, but his laptop made its way to the floor shortly after posting his 7th round pick on the standing board. As for laughing at gaffes, there is nothing more unsettling or hilarious than when an unsuspecting guppy selects a Defense way too early in the draft (Defenses are usually a late-round pick). “And with the first selection of the 3rd Round, Dying Guppy takes the Minnesota Vikings!” The reaction was instantaneous: Boisterous laughing and bewilderment. However, the Commish saved the day again: “I don’t think you want to do that…the Jets are really the top D.” And so the guppy posted his revised defense pick, and returned to his seat, with a look of quasi-satisfaction, amid the continued heckling and snickering around him.

Now don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of good stuff that happens at the draft too. Building a dominant starting roster, pick by pick, can be an exhilarating experience (admittedly, it’s been a while). Eating great wings and yummy chocolate cake can also be fun. For me, I don’t eat and draft. I’m too concentrated on what others are doing, and what my next pick might be. But my friend Neil thinks differently. At Upper Deck, he makes sure to get there early and order as much food as can fit on one table of 4, and then will pick at it during the draft. I believe that Neil does this to distract me from my focus on the draft, knowing that I have not eaten and won’t eat until the draft is over, for fear of acquiring indigestion. Neil likes to make moaning sounds while eating his food in front of me, and this is quite annoying. Neil, please stop.

When the draft is over, and it’s time to go home, there is a sad feeling that pervades the room. Actually, that’s not true. We’re all happy that the 3-hour marathon is finally over, and we’re pretty much exhausted from the concentrated efforts just undertaken – or from laughing at guppies – I don’t know. We all look at our roster sheet or computer screen with a sense of accomplishment. In some cases, we shriek in horror, and are stunned that we selected four running backs, three of whom all have the same bye week. It’s ok; the draft is over, the season has now started; and there’s always hope for a successful season. Isn’t that what the Browns and Lions say every year?

That’s all for now.

by: Eric Miller – Sports / Fantasy Football Contributor
Follow Eric Miller on Twitter @footballnutsy

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3. Offseason Thoughts on the AFC East
4. T.O. is Right for Someone
5. Ready for 2010